https://youtu.be/rN_hZbEPtqI
Above is the link to my first elevator pitch for my opportunity Gator Shuttle which is a parking lot and a shuttle that travels directly to campus.
I thought overall your first attempt was pretty good. At times it was a bit clunky. I might suggest practicing it a few more times before recording yourself. That being said this was the first pitch and over the next couple of weeks I'm sure you will have plenty of time to practice the pitch. You were also 15 seconds under time, maybe throw in some more information about the solution to fill time. Like where the lot is and how many cars can fit in the parking lot or maybe what it can turn into in the future.
I think your first attempt was good. I would agree with Chris that you may need to practice it a couple more times so everything runs a little more smoothly. But, that's an easy fix. I would definitely include where the lot would be located. I was wondering if the shuttle would only take you to one location on campus or would you have multiple destinations on campus from the lot? Overall, good job.
Your pitch is salient, but it felt a bit rushed. Using only your laptop camera was ineffective because it was at a low angle and you cannot see your full body language. When pitching, moving around the room, using hand gestures and maintaining eye contact are all ways to better your chances of your pitch being considered by companies. Although, I do think your idea would be a benefit to students, especially those who live far away from campus.
Mary Kate, this was not a bad first run at all! Although, I agree with Jeremiah. I must stress the importance of body language as a component in relaying your pitch. Furthermore, I believe that some of your charisma behind your idea may have been lost due to a lack of practice. Surely, with rehearsal and some small adjustments with your gestures and cadence your next pitch will flow much more smoothly. Aside, I think your shuttle is a wonderful idea and certainly relevant to the student body.
I thought overall your first attempt was pretty good. At times it was a bit clunky. I might suggest practicing it a few more times before recording yourself. That being said this was the first pitch and over the next couple of weeks I'm sure you will have plenty of time to practice the pitch. You were also 15 seconds under time, maybe throw in some more information about the solution to fill time. Like where the lot is and how many cars can fit in the parking lot or maybe what it can turn into in the future.
ReplyDeleteI think your first attempt was good. I would agree with Chris that you may need to practice it a couple more times so everything runs a little more smoothly. But, that's an easy fix. I would definitely include where the lot would be located. I was wondering if the shuttle would only take you to one location on campus or would you have multiple destinations on campus from the lot? Overall, good job.
ReplyDeleteYour pitch is salient, but it felt a bit rushed. Using only your laptop camera was ineffective because it was at a low angle and you cannot see your full body language. When pitching, moving around the room, using hand gestures and maintaining eye contact are all ways to better your chances of your pitch being considered by companies. Although, I do think your idea would be a benefit to students, especially those who live far away from campus.
ReplyDeleteMary Kate, this was not a bad first run at all! Although, I agree with Jeremiah. I must stress the importance of body language as a component in relaying your pitch. Furthermore, I believe that some of your charisma behind your idea may have been lost due to a lack of practice. Surely, with rehearsal and some small adjustments with your gestures and cadence your next pitch will flow much more smoothly. Aside, I think your shuttle is a wonderful idea and certainly relevant to the student body.
ReplyDelete